The trap of "let me quickly check..."

This is one hell of a trap that is difficult to get out of without conscious effort. How many times have you stopped yourself from sending an email or taking an important decision only to 'quickly check' with your boss or a colleague.

Every time you do this and the following sequence happens:
(i)   you ask your boss what is the next step (maybe you do write your recommendation)
(ii)  your good boss responds with what to do next
(iii) you follow exactly what he/she says

It harms you without you knowing. You unconsciously keep losing the skill of making decisions. The more your boss/colleague guides you, the lower you start setting the bar for 'asking'. I wrote about this in one of my earlier posts how making decisions (specially under ambiguous, imperfect data) is a huge skill by itself which gets rewarded.

If you are on THIS side (that is, you 'quickly check' things before committing), stop that from today. Take decisions and own them. You will feel so much ownership of the consequences knowing you took the decision. And if you are on THAT side (the caring boss), refrain from 'helping' and see whether he/she can do it alone. You help much more that way.

Be afraid when everyone is 'aligned'

Imagine leading a meeting where a complex issue is discussed and a high stakes decision needs to be taken. How many times have you seen - in such a situation - the most vocal and extrovert member made all the points and then the conclusion too. And if this member was known to have provided good inputs in 'other' situations (not connected with the issue being discussed), there was a halo effect as well. Other members remembered that and lined up behind him in the meeting.

Be aware when this happens. Your original intention of calling everyone was to bring forward the full range of "independent" opinions/thoughts/suggestions on the issue. Preferably, the more different the views are, the better it would have been. But that did not happen above!

For those who have done statistical modelling, there is a parallel. If input variables with which you tried to model an output were highly correlated with each other, you knew you had 'less information'. You looked for more 'independent' variables. This is exactly the same thing in real life when people giving you inputs are all 'aligned'.

A method I learnt from one of my managers works very well. Force everyone to send you his/her views in writing independent of each other before the meeting. Then the meeting can be controlled much better even if one person tries to run away with it. You can always nudge the silent ones to bring forward their views which they have already written down. Get a good debate going and thrash the issue like you intended....

Zoom out and watch yourself from a distance

We are super-busy in our workplaces and personal lives. Wish we had 30 hours a day. If we get some free time, we fill it with 'activities' whatever they are. We do not want to be seen as 'not busy'.

In all this, many of us genuinely miss the big picture and the acute awareness of our environment and where life is headed. The best parallel I find is when I drive. I get absorbed by the short crisp directions from my GPS - "turn left, turn right, drive straight" - and do not care on the overall direction. But then I miss a turn and get distracted. I would stop. I would zoom out the map to get the 'bird's eye view'. I check where I took the wrong turn and decide how to recover from there. I know the GPS re-calculates but I feel comfortable if I take control and decide.

This is no different in life. You get occupied in hundreds of things with someone around you always telling you to "do this or do that". No time to think. But it actually helps to take an occasional, deliberate pause and 'zoom out' from your situation. Look at things from a distance. Assess if everything is still going in the right direction. Or is there a wrong turn already. If yes, how to recover.

The only challenge is you need to know your destination (or at least the general direction) just like you do when you drive!

Allowing mistakes is the only way

Everyday I see my 3 year old explore a variety of things to comprehend the world around him. As any parenting book suggests, parents must allow the child to learn through experiences and do not stop him unless what he is trying is dangerous. Kids learn much more from 'mistakes'. Once they touch a cup from which smoke is coming out, you know they will identify hot things from a distance from then on! Isn't it remarkable how they associate different items and form their beliefs?

Today every company worth its salt wants their employees to "push the boundaries", "innovate" and so on and so forth. And yes they form the famed "innovation team" too. But question is do they create the free-wheeling environment which my 3 year old operates in?

The root of the problem lies in creating a culture where no mistakes are allowed! In an 'environment' which does not allow people to explore, fail (maybe even waste company's resources) and learn, it is likely employees play well within themselves. You know you are in such a surrounding when you see star performers around you are only associated with successful projects (be mindful that 'success' is often re-defined too in such environments!). There is tremendous peer pressure to not fail at anything or make bad decisions.

Creating a framework where failures and bad choices are encouraged and learnings shared (to avoid repeats) is the only way to unleash the full potential. 

Best of The Alchemist

Splendid book. Santiago's fascinating journey in search of his Personal Legend touches the Soul so deeply... 

My top few passages from the book (emphasis mine)

*******************
1) "Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend."

2) "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

3) “In order to find the treasure, you will have to follow the omens. God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens that he left for you.”

4) “Let me tell you what will happen. You’ll be the counselor of the oasis. You have enough gold to buy many sheep and many camels. You’ll marry....Sometime during the second year, you’ll remember about the treasure. The omens will begin insistently to speak of it, and you’ll try to ignore them....During the third year, the omens will continue to speak of your treasure and your Personal Legend.....Then, sometime during the fourth year, the omens will abandon you, because you’ve stopped listening to them.

5) "I know why I want to get back to my flock" [Santiago] thought. "I understand sheep; they’re no longer a problem, and they can be good friends. On the other hand, I don’t know if the desert can be a friend, and it’s in the desert that I have to search for my treasure. But then if I don’t find it, I can always go home. I finally have enough money, and all the time I need. I could always go back to being a shepherd."

6) “There is only one way to learn, it’s through action. Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey."

7) "God only rarely reveals the future. When he does so, it is for only one reason: it’s a future that was written so as to be altered.”

Changing lanes and the red car

Most of us have surely faced this! We drive in one of these clogged highways and start looking for elusive shortcuts. We change lanes numerous times creating inconvenience to others just to get ahead by a few feet. And then suddenly spot the red car ahead (which by the way last time I saw was behind me by quite some distance!). And it never changed its lane.

Simple thing but so much to learn. Looking for constant short cuts to move up hardly helps. First, it creates ill-feelings all around with few people trusting us and second, there is only a small chance that this will get us ahead of the crowd. Often it can leave us behind as well! Then why look for elusive gains. Self aware people (one my previous posts) "know" when they are starting to do this and immediately check on it.

The courageous thing to do is to get out of the crowded street and jump on to the untried, relatively empty road where you are not aware of all the turns but only know that the road takes you to the same general direction. You have to find your own way there and it is uncertain, lonely and risky...

The fat cushion between my decisions and their real impact

Have you ever tried to figure out how much cushion is built in between the decisions you make and their real impacts in the organization. In other words, do the decisions you make matter? Are you really deciding anything?

As you spend time in an organization, it is obvious that your range of work increases. The organization demands more from you. Few of us carefully analyse whether we are just getting "busy" in the process OR are we seriously getting entrusted with more responsibilities. Are our decisions making a "visible" impact? Do I feel in complete charge of my work? Lack of control and the feeling that nothing really matters are big de-motivators.

It is well known through various researches that one of the big sources of workplace stress arises from an imbalance between high demands and low control. Contrary to popular belief, stress which is often associated with higher ranks where difficult decisions need to made, is actually caused more when one is not deciding the course of things. The Whitehall studies provide excellent insights on how health and well being of employees are associated to workplace environment and what are the sources of stress.

As you take charge of teams, this is one learning to apply.  How much control are you ceding to your team? Do they feel in charge and motivated?